Wallow in the shallow
We all are a sum of our parts. And we decide what parts are the most important in our life. We decide what parts to nurture within ourselves and which parts we let whither on the vine. The most important ability we have in this existence is the power to define our lives. It is harder to nurture the small blessings in life and not take them for granted. Nurturing, true nurturing is never easy. It needs care, honesty and sacrifice. It is far easier to be distracted by our pain ridden wounds. Pain is the least complex emotion and is far easier to accept than the rest.
So what do you chose? Do you start living a real life or keep reheaving the lived one? The excuses are running out. You dramatically jump from one catastrophe to the next impressing the outside observers. You survive and cling to life and claw yourself along in a dramatic fashion. But as we have already established, surviving isn't living. Breathing is a biological function that even the least sentient among us can accomplish. So? is it gonna a be a half-assed attempt that inevitably collapses under all the minutia? Think about it. But not too hard.