The Luxury to worry

When a particular topic has caught my eye, I develop an appetite for any information about that topic. I take the most ludicrous ideas about the topic under consideration. I sift through pop media news agencies for nuggets of truth. I read underground publications, conservative and liberal. I research the topic until I finally start repeating myself. I discard 99% and polish the 1%.
Sometimes it's science, but usually history. I will become ecstatic if I can find a totally foreign perspective on a historical text I am already familiar. But, often I am also drawn to depressing elements of life. Studying history invariably leads to the study of war. I have no concept for following orders without thought of consequences. That is an alien idea for me. I'm not sure if I want to understand it. This leads me to my point of writing this rambling. The "Iraq War" is so horrible. Existing in this Imperialistic and Expansionist culture is hard for me. I often try to deal with it from a toned down and local level. But the news from overseas keeps getting worse. Maybe Canada will become a real possibility for me. When I was up in Vancouver, the medical staff and I had 15 hours to get to know each other. One of the constant things I heard was how much they liked people from PacNW. Why? Because PacNW people are more relaxed like British Columbia Canadians. Of course this excludes some of the over energized Seattle population ( - ;
B.C. is only an idea right now, but an obtainable goal for the future.

Happy People

For years I have joked that God is trying to kill me. Today,
one of my "the glass is half full" friends replied "maybe
God has been saving you all these years."

...sigh.

Mental note to self...Must find Nihilist friends...

( - ;

So far so good

Staples in the back of my head...gone! Scar in back of head...undetectable. Tonight will be my first true night sleep in 2 weeks. My eyes burn with anticipation and my shoulders press against the back of my neck. No problems, complications or infections to report. I had no choice but to cut my hair short. I never have had hair this short of my own free will. Boy mode is gonna be my reluctant display for quite a while. Oh well, it's worth it.

Two certainties in life, scars and taxes

Words, words and more words. They easily separate or change and twist into weapons. Feelings of times past foam from the mouths of the wounded at heart. Opinions are used as shields to hide behind or bash forward into the crowd. Wounds heal and scar into grudges. And after all is said and done, it's words, words and more words.

Flip those letters Vanna

I had an interesting experience on the phone today. I called a local community organization to volunteer to help kids learn to read. Specifically, I would like to help dyslexic kids. The lady asked "why do you want to volunteer, and especially with the dyslexic? I replied " I was dyslexic when I was younger and I know the frustration it adds to the learning process." She replied "You mean, you ARE dyslexic. It just doesn't affect you as much now." I was forced to admit, um, err..yes. We talked for about 20 minutes and our conversation went very well. I have an interview next week. I'm very nervous and excited.


Also on a side topic. I have decided to learn French. It's just a matter of when and where.