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The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it. llolo@comcast.net

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Friendship is a victimless crime

The Portland Metro area is 78% white. That was quite a shock to my friend Marc when he moved out here from Texas 4 years ago. Marc is now a part of the 6% Black population in Portland. When I was a kid I suspect that percentage was probably around 1 percent. Marc is also a very large and intimidating man. I agree that he is large, but not intimidating. We have discussed the psychological and sociological aspects of Race in America thoroughly. He is far too forgiving of Angry Ignorant White People than I could ever be. One day I was over at his house and we were talking and eating lunch. Just before he takes a drink of his Mountain Dew he says in a mocking Texan drawl "I betcha never had any problems with the bruthahs in school didja?" I replied with a deadpan response "You mean Mike? No, he never gave me any trouble, matter of fact he was always pretty quiet." The timing was perfect. Marc burst into laughter just as he took a big swig of Mountain Dew as I had planned. Mountain Dew shot out of his nose, mouth and I swear I think I seen some come out of his ears. Being me I continued on. ""Now that I think about it, he [Mike] was always in a hurry to get to his next class. I guess he liked to be punctual." More choking/laughter. Marc is now on his hands and knees staring at his mountain dew covered kitchen floor. I hand him a towel and continue on. "From what I remember of Mike he was always smilin, he was everyone’s friend but he didn't date any of the girls." At this point Marc is drowning in his own spittle gasping for Jesus to kill him, begging me to stop and laughing all through the same windpipe. Quite an amazing feat. I continue on. "I wonder if I can even find him in my yearbook, 'cause I can't remember his last name." Now Marc is laughing so hard he starts making odd little chortling sounds that I think are laughter. I figure he is going to pass out from no air actually being inhaled so I stop. I crouch down next to his now prone body on the floor and hand him a fresh towel. I ask "Anything other questions MR Mouth?" He just shakes his head no. I get up and go to the fridge. I say in a mock Texan drawl "Want anythang tuh drink mah bruthah?" Marc begins a dry heave/cough laugh.

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